Rape and Responsibility
When I hear the word "rape," I immediately visualize assault, violence, force, and pain. However, today, there are pills slipped into drinks, thus skipping all of the brutality and allowing the attacker to walk away unscathed. But above all of the pills and physical violence, there lies another story that is more commonly heard of today: rape through blame and excuses. What this means is that, more often than not, women wake up from a night of alcohol consumption, drug abuse, or from a situation where they were not strong enough to say "No," and they cry rape. It is because of this frivolous definition of "rape" that women who are actually attacked are finding it harder and harder to present a
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When a man continues to force himself on a woman after she has firmly said "No," he has committed rape. However, when a woman stays silent because she is scared that she might offend her partner, it is not a case of rape, but a lack of self confidence and maturity on the part of the woman. This point of view is reflected in Mary Gaitskill's article titled "On Not Being a Victim: Sex, Rape, and the Trouble with Following Rules." Gaitskill describes her growth from a woman lacking self confidence and maturity to that of a strong independent woman. She begins with sharing an experience that goes along with the false claims of rape that are becoming so numerous in society today; she found herself unable to say "No" when faced with an aggressive male partner. Like many women, she at first portrays her story as rape when she speaks of it with others. This is partially due to her sense of regret and her inability to place the blame where it truly belongs -- on herself. It is claims such as hers that blur the line between rape and responsibility. It is a lot easier for a woman to pass the blame onto her partner than it is to accept responsibility for what has happened.
Gaitskill, like many who suffer from delusions of being victims of rape, did not understand what had truly